I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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