is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
