I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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