Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Randomize
