'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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