Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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