Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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