You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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