Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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