She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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