How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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