Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize