woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
