I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
