Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
