I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
