I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
