just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize