i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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