Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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