He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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