you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
