She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
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Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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