Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
home. puking in laundry basket.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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