Your mouth is God's brothel.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
