so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Floor bacon is actually really good
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
