Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
