In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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