and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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