when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
