I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize