you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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