The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
