Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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