From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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