I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
