i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
