tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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