im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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