apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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