let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
