I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
