from now on my penis is your penis
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
