Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
