we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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