He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
