I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
