Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
