So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize