Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
