Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
