Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Who died my cat blue again?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
