More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
