And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
