and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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