I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize