So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
