Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize