i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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