Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
