Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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