I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
