dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
