speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
