thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
