Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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