I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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