Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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