Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
