I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
