Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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